Vulnerable
by Nez
Summary: I'm new at this... PLEASE PLEASE R/R!!!! B/S


Hey, this is one of my first stories, so I would REALLY appreciate it if you reviewed this… I want to know what you think Paul Nesbitt Normal Paul Nesbitt 9 146 2001-11-06T03:00:00Z 2001-11-06T03:15:00Z 4 1085 6187 51 12 7598 9.2720 4.5 pt 2 2 

Hey, this is one of my first stories, so I would REALLY appreciate it if you reviewed this…  I want to know what you think!!!  Does it suck?  Because I would like to know if it does…  Anyways!

Summary:  Spike gets his chip out, Buffy thinks it's her duty to stake him…  B/S 

Disclaimer:  I don't own Buffy.  How sad.

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            The crypt was flooded with moonlight.  Dust and bits of cobwebs swirled through the still night air as the dark figure cautiously made its way through the crumbling room.  Buffy couldn't remember ever being this nervous.  She tried desperately not to think of the task on hand.  Clutching Mr. Pointy in her sweaty palms, she licked her lips, which were suddenly dry.

She couldn't let her feelings interfere with her duty.  

"Feelings?  What feelings??!!"  Buffy hissed angrily, mentally smacking herself in the head.  "How many times do I have to tell myself _I am not in love with Spike??? _At all.  Not even attracted to him."  A blatant lie, of course.  She realized that now.  She had been attracted to him since the day she met him, though she didn't realize it then.  But that didn't mean she _loved_ him.  That was-- that was just out of the question.  Of course it was.  There was no way she would ever love Spike, _ever_.  But, she was getting sidetracked.  Remember, she told herself, the only reason you kept him alive before was his chip.  And now that that's gone……

Xander had found this out for them.  He and Spike, as usual, had gotten into an argument over something trivial, and Spike had, being Spike, smashed Xander in the nose.  Without flinching.  No howls of agony, no clutching of the head.  Leaving Xander in shock (and with a broken nose), he had turned on his heel and stalked off.  

And now she had to kill him.

She knew that she had to.  Her friends had backed her up on this, reminding her of all of the threats Spike had thrown at them that had begun with, "When I get my chip out…" The only reason she hadn't staked him before was because he couldn't fight back.  

Or was it?

Buffy violently shook her head, trying to rid herself from the nagging voices in her head.  She might as well get the job over with.

He was still sleeping.  Buffy was relieved.  She didn't know if she would have been able to go through with the job if he had been awake, staring at her with those piercing blue eyes that always seemed to be able to see into her very soul…..  She shook her head again and clutched her favorite stake even tighter in her now shaking hands.  He looked so peaceful when he was asleep… the moonlight threw his chiseled features into sharp relief, accentuating his nose and high cheekbones.  

"Buffy…."

The word was barely a whisper, but Buffy heard as clearly as if he had shouted it.  She stumbled backwards, blushing furiously.  He had just called out her name…. was he awake?  Shakily, she sat down on a nearby sarcophagus and tried to calm herself.  She had to get the job over before he woke up.  She stared at his sleeping form, so peaceful in the moonlight.  He looked almost…. vulnerable.  

Vulnerable.  A word she had never before associated with Spike, even in his weakest moments.  He had always been tough; his whole attitude was that if he wanted something, it would be his, no matter what the costs.  In other words, he could take care of himself.  But now, asleep, his façade had melted away, leaving him…

Vulnerable.  

A feeling she could relate to at the present time.  She had never in her whole life felt so susceptible to injury as she did now.  Not many people had ever had to dig their way out of their own grave.  Yes, she could definitely relate.

Vulnerable.

But still a vampire, Buffy told herself firmly.  Vampire, as in I want to suck your blood until you look and feel like a raisin.  Now that his chip was gone, he was a monster once more; a bloodsucking, vicious, heartless monster.

Monster?  

No.  He may have been these things before, but Buffy couldn't see him killing people now.  Lying there, with that lost look on his pale face, and clutching his sheet to his chest, he looked about as dangerous as a piece of lint.    

Her heart melted as her turned over, mumbling something to himself.  He looked so different from the cocky, self-confident Spike she knew.  He looked so desperately alone that she wanted to take him in her arms and comfort him and…

No.  Not going there.

She peered at his face intently, trying the fathom the convoluted workings of the brain that lay behind his tired visage.  Watching him, she suddenly realized what Sunnydale would be without him, without his annoyingly cocky smirk, without his sarcastic remarks.  And, although she hated to admit it, she would be lost without him.  He had become a stable part of her life.  Ever since she had been resurrected from the dead, she had relied on him for help and consolation, and he was the only person she really felt comfortable around now.  Her friends, although with the best intentions, annoyed her to no end by treating her like a porcelain doll who was to be handled with care.  And there would be those sudden silences whenever she walked into a room.  They had been talking about her, of course.  They were worried about her.  And as much as she appreciated their concern, it bugged the crap out of her.  Spike, on the other hand, understood.  He had gone through a similar experience himself.  He listened to her rantings patiently, he had comforted her, and he had, above all, understood.  She needed him; she had no idea what she would do without him.  Again, the word vulnerable came to mind.

Buffy?  Vulnerable?  An oxymoron, for sure.  But she _was_ vulnerable. 

As she watched him, she quietly began to cry.  The tears ran unchecked down her cheeks, and her body shook with anguish.  All of the stress and tension that had been accumulating and weighing down on her over the past week found an exit through her tears.  Having to kill Spike was just one thing too many, and she couldn't handle it.  Slowly, she sank to her knees and buried her head in Spikes bed, trying to stifle her sobs.  

She started violently when she felt a hand softly stroking her hair.  When she realized that the owner of that hand had to be Spike, she was half horrified that he was awake and half grateful for his touch.  She involuntarily shivered with pleasure, her senses electrified.  Slowly, her sobs died down, and she was left, breathing heavily and hiccoughing, resting her head on the edge of Spikes bed.  

Why wouldn't he take his hand away?  She couldn't think rationally when he did that.  What if he was trying to get her guard down, so he could suck her dry?  And what if he knew what her intentions had been?  She prayed to God that her stake was wholly concealed in her pocket.  Cautiously, she raised her head and met his piercing blue eyes.  She was startled, even unnerved, by the depth of love and feeling she saw reflected in them.  

"Buffy."

She loved the way he said her name.  It was a soft, breathy whisper, spoken with such a choking turmoil of emotions that it sent shivers down her spine.

Suddenly, she didn't care that his chip was gone, she didn't care that he was a vampire, she didn't care that he had broken Xander's nose.  It all seemed so trivial, she reflected vaguely, relishing the feeling of his fingers through her hair.  Everything went hazy, and she felt herself slowly losing control of her body.  Still staring into his eyes, she leaned forward, and slowly, deliberately, kissed him.  She felt his body tense, but slowly, he relaxed against her, and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her as if the world was going to end.  Her body was flooded with incredible warmth, and she melted into him, letting her mind cloud over and drifted into a blissful oblivion.

Vulnerable?  She had forgotten the meaning of the word.     

THE END Please please please review!  Flames accepted!  I will love you forever if you review this… 


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